onward.

moving for a change. http://apalindrome.tumblr.com/

tiny moments.

life can be so fleeting so keep close and love the ones you love with all the love you are capable. don't forget that each day is a gift and all your friendships are treasures.

safe travels.

missed connections.

lately spending my days reading classics and watching zombie movies.

probably one of my least favorite things about working at a restaurant is when people come in about 10 minutes till closing and want to order food. now, there are usually two types of these kinds of people.

the first type is the people that come in, guns blazing, shirts tucked and with a little gumption tacked onto their 'tudes. these people come in, 10 minutes till close and say, 'i would like a hamburger and fries, please'. and i'm all like, 'sure thing'. but in my mind, i am really thinking you suck. however, there is a second type of people i care for even less than the first.

this group of second types are the the kind souls that come in apologizing profusely, completely insecure on whether or not they should be stepping foot in the restaurant still, maybe not even sure if they really want that chicken salad sandwich or not. the interaction usually goes as follows:

i notice the door slowly- ever so slowly- opening. a customer peeks their head through as if entering into a sauna full of fat, sweaty men.

me: hello! how are you?

customer: ...hello? gooood. can i still get something to eat?

me: sure, order up!

customer: ....are you sure? i know you are about to close.

me: yeah, of course. what can i get you?

watching the minutes tick away, thinking this is all really, really unnecessary.

customer: i mean, i don't want to put you out. i don't have to eat here.

me: no, really. it's fine. what would you like?

customer: well is there something that is faster than others for the kitchen to make?

me: it doesn't really matter, you can order whatever you are wanting. really.

at this point, i am getting irritated and am starting to wonder if this person is doing this on purpose.


customer: because, i mean, i know it really sucks when people come in at closing and order something to eat.

me: yes. but it is fine.

customer: okay, well then if you are sure....(a pause that is obviously waiting for me to consent just one more time)... let me look at a menu!

me: great (fake smile).

by this time, it is actually closing time and we could have wrapped all this up like 9 minutes ago??? and i could be waving him farewell as he jumps into his land rover with his' way too late to be eating dinner' dinner and then i could go home as well.

the point is, yes, kind souls are good people. and usually, being kind and compassionate towards other people will get you anywhere in the world. but sometimes, you gotta stick to your guns and march in there and just lay down the law. like a cowboy that will make everyone happier in the end.

also, shake 'em loose.

real housewives marathons and hoarders all day.

he's on a horse. and someday, i'll make him be mine.

and also this. these guys are some kind human beings and write the loveliest melodies. good things come from oklahoma.

happy fall and happy thanksgiving and happy red leaves.

tator tots.

is summertime and though i am working, i am trying to make it as much of a summertime as it is humanly possible. that means music shows, beers on the porch, fire truck red nail polish, short always dirty hair, late nights with the locusts, early mornings with french presses, swimming in the ol' swimming hole, reading country western novels and of course, creating the perfect summer soundtrack. lately, i have been obsessed with q. lazzarus's 'goodbye horses'. yes, it was that song that buffalo bill drag-danced to in 'silence of the lambs'. but, it is also my nighttime windows down, icee in hand jam session.
goodbye horses.

i move into my new home august 20th. i am most excited about this because i will be living by myself for the first time ever. it is a 400sq. ft. studio, but it has an alcove for my bed, and you know how i like my alcoves. i really like them. no more roomate squabbles. no more other people pet peeves. all the pet peeves will be my own about myself, and that is how i like it.

i saw the bats of austin last night, for the first time since i have ever been here. i was out for a run at dusk (bats or vampires..?) and i realized while standing over the bridge spanning lady bird lake, the boats full of tourists below, and the downtown skyline and hustle bustle behind me that i am so happy in this city
so happy.

buffalo bill bids you, adieu.

i wish there were a soundtrack to my life.

i've just made it through my third sxsw and i need to be sleeping. and then i need to clean. and then i should probably bask in my newfound freedom of having my house back to myself, but i already miss my friends and i want them to all come back and stay for forever.


here is a really long account for the shows and music we saw this weekend. sorry if it is boring. sorry if i sound pretentious. sorry, i just like the tunes, you know?

okay. here goes.


delorean and surfer blood were playing at club deville. and it was free high life and free mike's hard punch. the beer was tolerable, i mean it was free, but the punch was like drinking death. stomach ache city! the music more than made up for it though, and on such a bright sunny day with my sunglasses on, it could not have been more perfect.

deli- delorean
floating vibes- surfer blood

real estate and the xx were also fantastic. being practically front row at the xx was so great and they intro'd with 'intro' and played crystallised and infinity and blew my mind. i wish they had played their cover of florence + the machine's 'you've got the love' and i wish they had come back for the encore that everyone wanted them to give, but i realize they are a high commodity at this festival and needed to probably jet on to the next scene. still, freaking amazing.

younger than yesterday- real estate
you've got the love (florence + the machine cover)- the xx

neon indian was near the top of the list for music i most needed to be at. and i got my dream come true. we were packed in like sardines, and toes were getting stepped and people were smiling and dancing and the music lifted spirits and put a jig in everyone's step the rest of the day. memory tapes went on before neon indian, and it was as if they were meant to be. those two shows made the fact that my skirt kept blowing up all over downtown austin on that windy day totally worth it.

bicycle- memory tapes (3:25 and then when the guitar kicks in, you'll be feeling this for sure)
psychic chasms- neon indian

oh, and andrew w.k. fist pumps, head banging, etc. party hard, duh.

frightened rabbit has become one of my favorite bands to listen to over the past year and getting to see them was a dream come true. the music was moving, their accents were scottish, their smiles were charming and the cold, cold weather was completely forgotten as i listened to their beautiful, perfectly put together tunesies. i hope they continue to do well in the music biz.

the modern leper- frightened rabbit
keep yourself warm- frightened rabbit

boxer rebellion was on before frightened rabbit, and it was my first time to ever hear them. they were pretty good, too. very interpol-ish and black rebel motorcycle club and muse, even. plus, the bassist was the doppleganger of one of my friends and i think they need to meet and be friends. i mean, if i knew of my doppleganger, that is how i would feel.

i would be remiss if i were to never mention GWAR. and the fact that we saw them. and the fact that we all got fake blood sprayed at us. and the fact even though it was 39 degrees outside, somehow the fake dismemberment of robots and babies and MJ helped to erase the pain of frozen fingers, toes and noses. oh GWAR, you are disgusting and so completely vulgar. but i couldn't stop watching you anyway.

last but not least, to top off an epic weekend, the hood internet played an entirely, way too incredible dance party, and i danced my face into oblivion. lots of stage dancing and top of speaker dancing (?) and it was the best night ever. if you ever get the chance to hear them mix, you should never ever turn down the opportunity. the next girltalk? maybe.

1993 barry bonds (kanye west vs. lil wayne vs. dj signify)- the hood internet
tambourine reckoning (eve vs. radiohead)- the hood internet
stop feeling it (three six mafia vs. memory tapes)- the hood internet
billie 'wildcat' jean (michael jackson vs. ratatat)- the hood internet

in fact, just go check out the site and spend some quality time there. thehoodinternet.com, fools.

you are universal.

today, a man came into starbucks and he had on a very nice looking tie. i complemented him on said tie, saying that i liked it very much. he said thanks, and was quiet for a moment while i got him his coffee. then he said to me that the compliment on his tie was very significant and meaningful for him, as it was his son's that passed away a few weeks ago. he was wearing it today to help him remember and feel closer to his son.
when he left, i started crying. it was completely heartwrenching but it was so good to know that such a small comment could make someone feel so loved.

i've been struggling a lot lately, living here in austin. doing the same thing over and over and over and trying to make new friends that mean something and keeping my head afloat and staying out of trouble. when interactions like this happen, it reminds me that life really does mean something. that people do really mean something and that it is amazing how you can connect so completely with a stranger over something that you may not have ever experienced yourself. grief and love and all those other feelings are so universal. and it's nice to know that if nothing else, you can at least share that with the person who is sitting next to you on the bus.

anyway, totally sentimental today. sentimental a lot lately, actually. i just wanted to share this with you, whoever you are.

and this. Goodbye Horses- Q Lazzarus